Remembering Britney, as Baby Tries Rehab, One More Time...

I am not now nor have I ever been much of a fan or the former Mousketeer. While you will find some of her songs on my iTunes, that's only because I happened to have a lot of the Now CD compilations. No matter what your like or dislike for Britney, however, it is terribly sad to have to witness the unraveling of a fellow human being in front of everyone's eyes. In tribute, this Friday's VicPick video is of Britney circa 1999, on the Rosie O'Donnell Show, when Brit was about 17. Its hard to believe she was ever that young and innocent--but not that much. Rosie even remarks at one point, "You're a levelheaded young girl and I hope you stay that way and I think you will." At this point, it seems that the most anyone can hope for is for her to get the help she needs and clean herself up so that she can take care of her babies.

Celebrity Looks for Less: Special Edition Britney Spears' new haircut

While she might not be done figuring out how much her divorce is going to cost her, and she might not know how to keep her bar tab low, but it seems America's former favorite pop princess has figured out a great way to save on haircuts, expensive shampoos and styling products, hairstylists, and extensions. Witness, Britney's own personal tribute to Sinead O'Connor, in all of its hairless glory. It seems Miss Spears was spotted this weekend at a tattoo parlor in the San Fernando Valley with her head completely shaved, where she spent over an hour getting two small tattoos on her wrist. You can read about how she lost her locks here.

Britney always gets by with a little help from her (lawyer) friends

While poor Brit may forget to put on her underwear from time to time and has difficulty getting out of cars in short skirts without spreading her legs wide apart, and let us not forget how hard it is to carry your infant son, a smoothie, and walk, she does have enough sense to keep good lawyers on hand. It seems that the reason why the former Teen Queen filed for divorce from K. Fed on Election Day last month was not a subtle right-wing disctraction attempt to keep the Republicans in majority, but rather Britney's thrifty way of saving money. The divorce, which was filed exactly two years and one month from the date of her marriage, prevented her from having to pay Mr. Federline a third year of alimony because of 30-day legal grace periods. Since Britney's pre-nup stipulates the total length of their marriage as a basis for K. Fed's alimony settlement, this difference is important--hey, everyone needs to save a little during the holidays!

OH! Well, that makes it ok!

On Britney Spears' website today she gives what I'm sure she thinks are very reasonable excuses for why she has been hanging out with someone like Paris Hilton, leaving her babies at home with an unknown babysitter for numerous nights in a row, and forgetting to put on underwear. Now try to forget the fact that Britney is a pop star (and not a very good one at that) who makes millions of dollars for doing very little (not very well I might add), and disregard the fact that Britney insisted and was reported in numerous publications saying that she wanted to be a young mother, and read her statement where she whines:

"Its been so long since I've been out on the town with my friends. It's also been 2 years since I've even celebrated my birthday."

--Britney Spears on her website

Aww, I didn't realize that Britney. You're right. Never mind all the other hardworking single parents that work stressful jobs for a blue-collar wage without anybody to help out with their kids and can't even remember the last time they have been on vacation. You Britney, brought us such priceless poetically titled gems as "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and a rather raspy cover of Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative." Tongue kissing Madonna at an awards show takes more out you than I thought. Leave the kids home more often and party it up as much as you want--you, after all, deserve it.

Britney bought some underwear

For those of you that were concerned, and I'm sure many of you were, the "Help a Blonde Pop Star Recharge her Career" fund has reached out to Miss Britney, and she was able to buy herself some new bloomers just in time for her 25th birthday. Bravo.

Pretty much as cheap as it gets

I'm sorry, but I just had to post about this. Apparently Britney's publicist thinks that the best way to revive your career and recover from a divorce from the biggest loser on the planet is to become best friends with the most famous celebrity with the least amount of talent (I'm being generously discreet there--she is actually famous for doing something). In any case, these two have been a few skin grafts short of becoming conjoined twins lately. You would think that hanging out with an heiress would be extravagant, but true to the Paris Hilton textbook, Britney has stopped buying (and wearing) underwear, and at a recent outing (above) couldn't afford the top half of her dress. As if that weren't tragedy enough, if I can direct your attention to their lower halves, the girls could only afford one pair of fishnet stockings between them, each wearing one leg on their right side.